Timing is always a hard guessing game, and both unfortunately and fortunately, it is a guessing game that can only be won through waiting.
We are controllers. No matter which way it's cut, we want to be in control of our tomorrows. Pretty ironic, considering that we aren't even in control of our todays. We have a God who is All-Knowing and All-Providing and All-Faithful, but all we want to do is take everything into our own hands and push the start button or the stop button. Sometimes I can't help but think that He is either constantly frustrated by our humanness or humored by it. Probably both.
I don't want to take my tomorrows into my own hands. I want Jesus to continue to guide them as He has been, because He is leading me in truth. But through waiting, He is also developing this virtue of patience that is so difficult to obtain, and then (oomph, the hard part) maintain.
It seems like everyone around me is in this same boat of the unknown. Plans for the future scare us, and plans for the summer, and plans for next year. We don't know who we want to be yet, or if we are ready, or if we can do it. We doubt where we are right now, in this moment, based on the past. We forget what we are being taught because we are too busy worrying about the lesson. We are insecure because we are not perfect, and we do not always perform our best. We are hurt by loss, but terrified of new beginnings, and we get stuck in this rut of never-ending fears that eventually threaten to control all of who we are.
Do we really want that paragraph to be the exact way we feel all the time? Is that really what we always want to be able to relate to?
I want to be able to confide in Trust and Peace. I want to relate to Patience and Understanding. Please, let us let go of all that we are holding onto, because it is surely out of our grasp anyway. I don't want to live in fear of what is down the road, I want to live in faith of what is down the road. And that begins with trusting in the right now. Sure, it's easier said than done.
But it shouldn't have to be, and I don't think Jesus wants it to be. Our relationship with Him should be an adventure. An adventure where each new day, we have the privilege of looking to Him to lead our steps. I think that's pretty remarkable. Can we please take advantage of it?
"...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." -Phillipians 1:6