Nathan and Caitlin already celebrate their one month anniversary tomorrow! It was such a beautiful wedding. So beautiful that they are being featured in a bridal magazine. Only those two, only those two. If you haven't had the chance to see the photos, follow this link and enter "cnw" as the password! There are a million pictures. And yes, I did look at every single one.

I have been loving summer as of late. Swim lessons are so much fun for me, and even though my job can be scary and intimidating at times, (that would be lifeguarding-wise, of course) it has grown me in so many ways. Between getting to know adorable little kids and seeing their progress as swimmers, bonding with staff members, improving my lifeguarding skills, and turning 10 shades darker, (no exaggeration) I have really grown to love all of it! Plus, I've discovered how much I like working with kids! I never knew!

The Lord has also been so faithful. He is always faithful, but when I become vulnerable to the world I stop seeing just how faithful. Slowly but surely, He has truly been helping me achieve a genuine joy and confidence that is of Him and His spirit; not of this world, and not of my flesh. I am learning not to live season to season, but rather take my relationship with the Lord and thus my relationships with others one literal minute at the time. I went to Metro community groups last night for the first time since winter...and what a blessing. Convicted, challenged, encouraged, uplifted. It was a beautiful reminder to sit among believers and realize that we are all humans with worries and struggles, but as a body of Christ, we can persevere and pursue righteousness and hope and truth together. The Lord didn't intend for us to go through life alone, and I am so grateful to be doing life with Him and those who love Him. [Corporate] fellowship is something, quite shockingly, I have let slip completely, and last night was the perfect wake-up call to be involved once again!

I hope your summers are going so well, even if there have been those moments where direction is not present and life seems like it is one question mark after the other. I encourage you to surround yourself with believers who will wrestle and grow through life with you, because it becomes such a beautiful mess once experienced.

Happy Monday!

OH! Huge ps! I am going to Sacramento Magazine tomorrow to receive a tour and interview time with the editorial editor. I get to ask questions, wrack her brain, see what this whole magazine world is really like, and hopefully open the door to a potential place of volunteer work or internship. Exactly what I have wanted to discover more since Christmas break when I decided journalism might be the route I once again want to travel down. :) God is so good!

Crossroads. They happen so often. Some are minor, others major, but no matter what, they involve a decision that at the time seems to carry the weight of the world with it. When we were little, our biggest decisions were as simple as whether we were going to get a hot lunch or bring a cold lunch, or whether we wanted to play on the bars at recess or tackle a game of four-square. As we get older, though, it seems that these crossroads happen much more frequently, and the path we have to cross only gets larger. Decisions have more consequences, both good and bad, and those decisions no longer only effect the immediate context; they effect the bigger picture that is, essentially, our life. 



The summer months always seem to bring these decisions, too. Thoughts about the future attack our minds, disorganizing the nicely, previously compartmentalized thoughts that we stored away during the school year when we 'didn't have time to think about them.' Now, though, our purpose goes beyond our schoolwork, beyond our classes, and I think that in some of us, like myself, we temporarily lose a piece of the identity that has been shaping us for so long. We are students, and we have been for 15 years, but when summer hits, it's like our thoughts are cut loose to explore all those areas we ban from the months of August to May. For three months we are not students, and our lives do not revolve around deadlines and events and classes. We get a small dose of the real world before we go back to a comfortable routine that is so engrained within us, it's almost like culture-shock when we don't have it.

My thoughts have been world-travelers since school ended. They've taken me to a crossroads where I must choose what I really, truly want to pursue in my education, and if that means I must make a decision I can't even fully process yet. They've led me to ponder why I chose to do what I'm doing this summer, when essentially I was not ready (that has been my not-so-small dose of the real world). They've had me redefining what family means as I grow older, and what it looks like to cultivate those transforming relationships. They’ve had me up, down, and around every nook and cranny of my mind, reminding me that they want attention, too.



The crossroads we encounter are usually blessings, but they so often appear as curses first. As time goes on though, it is the decisions we make at those crossroads that help shape us into who we are. Right now, I feel as though I have been in a huge transition, although I don’t really know what I am transitioning from nor transitioning to. I have been wracking my mind all summer trying to figure it out, to find some direction, but all that ends up doing is leading me to ten different crossroads of thought, when I am only supposed to be approaching them one at a time.

If there is one lesson I am being taught, it is that decisions and choices and change are all disciplines that require some trial and error. Whether the Lord has me cross a particular path before I feel I am ready (which actually means I am ready, but just scared) or He has me wait patiently while he prepares me to cross, I ultimately need to learn to give it up one thought, one action, and one road at a time.


(Wedding-Dinkey Creek photos/post to follow) :)

 I love this color palette. So summery, so simple, so classic. Too bad the weather is hindering me from emulating any of these outfits! Thunderstorms, lightning, tornado warnings...it's been an eventful week for us normally-spoiled Californians.

These conditions have been one more item on the list of my more-unusual-start-to-summer. I didn't move home, I'm living in an apartment I can't really afford yet, and I'm simply at another crossroads of life that leaves a lot of time for reflections and memories and thoughts to sort through. Like I've mentioned, my summer home has an extreme lack of wi-fi or cable, and with roommates who are working long before and after me, the Lord has been giving me an abundance of quiet time. Both literally and figuratively.

Jesus has been showing me that He has intentionally placed me in this period of rest. It has been a pretty crazy year, and He is now giving me the time to do nothing but seek Him fully and purposefully. My heart belongs to no one but Him, and the biggest theme I am going to walk away from this summer will be the art of learning what it means to have eternal value. All year He has gradually reminded me that I need to remember the joy of my salvation. I want to be concerned only with the things He wants and desires of me. The battle of flesh and spirit is so strong sometimes, but I am reminded that it is the qualities of Jesus that have a lasting value.

Thus I am practicing that discipline this summer; finally surrendering things that my heart and mind have been holding onto, and letting go of the importance I have placed on so many worldly ideas. This summer is mine. I have a manageable schedule, wonderful friends, and time to actually just sit and rest.

Happy (rainy) weekend!!

(POST SCRIPT! If you haven't heard Coldplay's new single, "Every Teardrop is a Waterfall," GO, NOW.)

Oh, how nice it would be to have a room like this, wouldn't you agree? To read there, all summer long...so perfect. All it needs is a little table right next to it to hold some coffee and treats.

I am back in Rocklin, sitting at a coffee shop, feeling guilty because I didn't can't buy anything, yet I am using the wi-fi relentlessly. I did get my first paycheck today though, and I would be lying if I said I didn't legitimately smile when I saw that it had been deposited. It wasn't for a lot, but when you have nothing, everything is a lot, and I am happy.

Lifeguard training continues tomorrow, and the schedule tells me that Shadow Guarding begins Sunday....I hope I'm ready! It's both nerve-wracking and exciting. Sometimes I ask myself why I chose a job where people's lives are at stake and I am responsible...

It's going to be great though, and I really can't wait.

Today is the lovely Rachel's birthday, so we'll see what festivities that brings on tonight!

Here's to a wonderful Memorial Day weekend!

Being home in our new kitchen (although not fully finished) has had both my mom and me cooking and baking nonstop. I had been craving chocolate-chip pancakes since I had them at my family's house in Portland over choir tour, but since we were out of eggs yesterday, fate had me wait until today to make them.

Granted, there is always something that goes wrong, and this morning it was an extreme lack of buttermilk. If you ever run into this problem, fear not! An easy substitute is to mix one tablespoon white distilled vinegar with one cup milk (this counts as 1 cup of buttermilk). Of course it's never ideal to have to substitute key ingredients, but it gets the job done!

Recipe from none other than Cooking Light.

Ingredients

• 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
• 3/4 cup whole wheat flour
• 3 tablespoons sugar
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 1/2 cups low-fat buttermilk (*So if you don't have any, like me, this would be 1 TBS vinegar and up to the 1 and 1/2 cup line of milk)
• 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
• 1 large egg
• 1 large egg white
• Cooking spray
• 3/4 cup maple syrup
• 3 tablespoons butter

Preparation

• Lightly spoon flours into dry measuring cups; level with a knife. Combine flours, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a large bowl, stirring with a whisk. Combine buttermilk, oil, egg, and egg white, stirring with a whisk; add to flour mixture, stirring just until moist.
• Heat a nonstick griddle or nonstick skillet coated with cooking spray over medium heat. Spoon about 1/4 cup batter per pancake onto griddle. Turn pancakes over when tops are covered with bubbles and edges look cooked. Serve with syrup and butter.

**I also added 1 TBS cocoa powder, a helping of chocolate chips, and then for the final product I sliced fresh strawberries with light powdered sugar on top. Another great option I tried was one half of a sliced banana on top, drizzled with maple syrup. It was to die for.
**Note, although they weren't as moist (ah I said moist!!!) as they would have been with the real buttermilk, I found that I didn't feel half as lethargic after eating them. You know, the Oh my goodness, I have three pancakes sitting in my stomach now feeling.

(Sorry for lack of quality in pictures, too. My phone's camera is all I have currently...RIP digital Sony from eighth grade..)

 Enjoy!!

 

Okay, so I've been super lucky with getting another free and legal and awesome music download! This band's album was just released yesterday, and I found out about them from various people from Metro! One of the band members is the son of our pastor, and last night I found out via Twitter that they were performing on JKL, so I tuned in! Their music is fantastic and is immediately being added to my summer playlist! Here is the download from iTunes! (And don't hesitate to buy the album in its entirety, I might add).

In other news, today has been the epitome of a perfect summer day. Both yesterday and today I have woken up late, lazily made breakfast, and ventured out to the backyard to enjoy it. This morning I had my coffee and my journal, and I simply sat, reflected, and wrote. There are few things that make me happier than doing just that. The perfect weather was a huge contributing factor as well.

Tomorrow I will leave my beautiful home in Lodi and head back to my home in Rocklin, and I can't wait to be with the lovely girls in my apartment once more! We unfortunately (and fortunately, actually) don't have wi-fi though, so I will be doing all my future blogging from local coffee shops that provide such services. I guess that isn't the worse thing that could happen. ;)

Happy Tuesday!

 

Two (legal) free downloads from the two albums that will be filling my ears this summer!

Fleet Foxes: "Helplessness Blues"

Bon Iver: "Calgary"

Enjoy, my friends!

*(edit! I was notified that the link for Bon Iver was wrong, but it is now corrected! Sorry about that!)